My Tattoo: The Three of Swords

Many people ask me... friends and strangers alike, why I chose to permanently put this image on my chest. If I'm feeling talkative, I will give them the long version of the story, but usually I just say that it is a symbol of strength.

The three of swords is a complicated card. In the Rider-Waite deck you will see that the heart is hanging in the air with a cloudy sky in the background. The heart is pierced by no less than three swords, however it remains in tact, still together, not in pieces. Three in numerology is linked to growth, while the swords suit speaks of mental energy; truths, and challenges. This card to me asks us to lean into pain in order to fully feel it. Only then can we grow through it, and move on to live in our truth - not unchanged but not broken.

At the time that I had this tattoo done, I was only 23 years old. I'd just overcome my life's biggest challenge to date; healing myself of a major Lupus flare that almost killed me. I was feeling strong and healthy, though forever changed in body and mind by my brush with this chronic illness. I knew that I'd learned some core truths about myself from the experience, and for that I was thankful. Knowing that I grew from enduring this challenge however, did not make dealing with the aftermath easy. The boundaries of pain I felt at the time were worthy of documentation in some form or another, I needed a way to communicate and express it without using words.

A good friend that I grew up with posed the question to me one night at a small gathering of friends; "do you want a tattoo?"- I didn't think twice before saying yes, and in moments I chose the image and where I wanted to place it on my body. It was decided so quickly that there was no time to second guess myself. I felt that I knew exactly what I wanted, and had never been so sure of anything in my life.

I've never regretted this tattoo, and I still feel as true to it today as I did the day that Renee gave it to me. <3

Religion

Religion has been a hot topic for me my whole life. As a child I asked questions until the adults around me turned blue in the face. My mom eventually gave up and started giving me the same answer whenever I had a spiritual query; she would say "I don't know Kathrine. ASK GOD>"...so I did.

I asked God why evil was allowed to exist.
I asked why everyone thought that God was a male and not a female.
I asked why we always had to drink his blood and eat his flesh.
I asked what made God, and how there could be something from nothing.

As my family floated away from a regularly scheduled Sunday mass, I would at the age of 12, go to church on my own.

I read everything I could, checking books out of the library about other religions. Now into my teens, I was wondering, why are we right and they wrong? Are they all going to hell? Why is that allowed if God is omnipotent?

All of these questions were extremely frustrating to me, as I did not for the life of me understand why NO ONE ELSE SEEMED TO BE ASKING. Everyone was ok with the status quo. An adult at one point or another said something like "God works in mysterious ways" and somehow, that was enough for them. No more questions. They were satisfied with this answer.

Today I do not consider myself religious, but I am spiritual. I see certain truths in almost all of the religions. To me the truth shines through the main message of each of them. They speak of love, and that says to me that perhaps, they are all coming from the same source; and maybe just telling different stories about the truth of all that is - because their stories are how they interpreted God's love. They follow certain prophets, who no doubt were all-wise, and these prophets had an unduly understanding of God, which was beyond that of those of around them. They each imparted what they knew to be true to others, which resulted in followers, and ultimately lead to the creation of the books that were meant to guide them.

To me, God is within all of us and is not a bearded man in the sky. God is the light of divine love. God is our human potential for perfect truth. We each of us are capable of growing in this love, and making the light of God in this world bigger, or else we are lost and seeking a way back to this light. We should have compassion for those who do not serve God, because we all are one and the same, and the best we can do for these lost ones is try to direct them back to the source. We do this through empathy, compassion, and understanding.

My idea of God can actually be summed up best by the current Pope Francis:

"From my point of view, God is the light that illuminates the darkness, even if it does not dissolve it, and a spark of divine light is within each of us."