Many people ask me... friends and strangers alike, why I chose to permanently put this image on my chest. If I'm feeling talkative, I will give them the long version of the story, but usually I just say that it is a symbol of strength.
The three of swords is a complicated card. In the Rider-Waite deck you will see that the heart is hanging in the air with a cloudy sky in the background. The heart is pierced by no less than three swords, however it remains in tact, still together, not in pieces. Three in numerology is linked to growth, while the swords suit speaks of mental energy; truths, and challenges. This card to me asks us to lean into pain in order to fully feel it. Only then can we grow through it, and move on to live in our truth - not unchanged but not broken.
At the time that I had this tattoo done, I was only 23 years old. I'd just overcome my life's biggest challenge to date; healing myself of a major Lupus flare that almost killed me. I was feeling strong and healthy, though forever changed in body and mind by my brush with this chronic illness. I knew that I'd learned some core truths about myself from the experience, and for that I was thankful. Knowing that I grew from enduring this challenge however, did not make dealing with the aftermath easy. The boundaries of pain I felt at the time were worthy of documentation in some form or another, I needed a way to communicate and express it without using words.
A good friend that I grew up with posed the question to me one night at a small gathering of friends; "do you want a tattoo?"- I didn't think twice before saying yes, and in moments I chose the image and where I wanted to place it on my body. It was decided so quickly that there was no time to second guess myself. I felt that I knew exactly what I wanted, and had never been so sure of anything in my life.
I've never regretted this tattoo, and I still feel as true to it today as I did the day that Renee gave it to me. <3
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