There is a darkness deep in you...

...a frightening magic I cling to.

These lyrics pretty much sum it all up. There is a darkness deep in you. A frightening magic I cling to...

I feel like I'm chasing the dragon. I'm a hopeless fucking addict. I am addicted to love. I need it. It makes me feel so good that I don't care about the cost to my mental health or anyone else's.

I should be locked up somewhere so that I can't hurt myself or anyone else.

It's sick.

Tonight all I could think about was that he looked so good. And he dances with me. And he told me I looked good tonight. And I was immediately 24 again. Melting like a popsicle in his hand.

I have no self respect, no self control. Down I go. Easy peasy. Just like that.

what the hell is wrong with me?